A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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