So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
