Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
