Your tits are I can't wait for
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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