I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
