...so i touched it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
