Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize