You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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