But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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