so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
