We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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