So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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