You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Where is the hickey?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
