I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
