dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
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mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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