I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
