But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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