Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
