so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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