it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
