I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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