I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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