i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
