We won't sleep together?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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