if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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