Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize