Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Panties = found
Randomize
