This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
That's when you crack a 10am beer
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
