my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
