So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
