before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
