can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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