she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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