I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
