My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
