i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
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mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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