Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
