im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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