I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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