i just google imaged poop.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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