Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
