Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
