I like to think it a success when the cops are called
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
