Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
