I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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