The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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