can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
