i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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