My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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