go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
