I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
