we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
