Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
