just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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