well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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