You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
