Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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