He is an equal opportunity slut.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
