dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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