Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize