just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
