We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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