Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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