Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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