It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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