i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
